Banner photo credit: Kelly Sikkema @kellysikkema

Valentine’s Day has become a holiday that celebrates romantic love. Romantic love is wonderful, and it is more healthy, joyful, and successful when modeled after the universal, all-inclusive, unconditional love venerated by most wisdom traditions.

Below are teachings from three wisdom traditions as they try to highlight aspects of this this universal love.

Buddhism on Love

The Loving-Kindness Sutra

This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.

Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in safety,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!

Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world.

Judaism on Love

Below is a paraphrased Hasidic proverb on love.

To love God truly, you must first love humanity. And if anyone tells you that they love God but do not love their neighbors, they are lying.

Christianity on Love

1 Corinthians 13: 1-8

If I speak in the tongues of humans or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Investigating Love

• Remember a time when you felt really loved by someone – try to remember all of the details of the situation and what happened?

• How do you know that love was present? What helped you know love was present in that circumstance?

• Do we only feel love when we are loved by others? When else do we feel love?

• What are the qualities of universal love?  

• In what circumstances does universal love use force?

• What does that love-inspired force look like? How does love-inspired force look different from hate-driven force? Does this love-inspired force still abide by the other qualities of love mentioned above?

Throughout your day, pick one of the following questions (or make up a similar question) to ask yourself, to help inspire you to be more loving:

• What does unconditional love look like in this situation?

• How would unconditional love respond to this situation?

• How can I be unconditionally loving in this situation?

Happy Valentine’s Day!