Banner photo credit: Jared Rice

This training was given at the Boundless Love Project’s weekly group meditation (now virtual due to the pandemic) on 9.29.2020. We make it available here in audio and article format for your convenience.

Meditation

We invite you to listen to the Know Your Boundless Love Meditation, which we did before the talk.

Audio Version

NEXT STEP: Consider adding this Inquiry practice into your daily routine to help you learn how to deactivate self-judgmental thoughts so they no longer cause you to suffer.

Notes from Inquiry Leads to Truth, Love, and Skillfulness Talk

Inquiry is about is asking good questions and using your direct experience to figure out the answers. By looking, noticing, and seeing things, you start to notice patterns and gain insights that help you free yourself from your suffering. You also grow in wisdom, love, and skillfulness. 

Since thoughts believed, generates emotions, which often spur behavior, it is best to inquire into the underlying thoughts that drive the process. 

If an emotion is present, but no thought. Ask yourself, what is the thinking behind this feeling? Try to figure out the story behind the emotion, and work with that. 

Skillful Questions to Ask

• Is this (thought, emotion, habit pattern) temporary or permanent? 

Another way of asking this question is: Is this self or not self? If something is impermanent, then it is not you. Otherwise, when it disappears, you would disappear too. But after the thought, emotion, or habit pattern goes away, you still exist, so it is not you. 

• Is this personal or impersonal? 

Alternate questions to get at the same thing: Can I control this or not control this? Is this conditioned or unconditioned? Seeing how whatever arises is culturally and biologically conditioned, impersonal, and beyond your control can help you stop judging yourself or others for the thoughts, feelings, or sensations that arise and relate to them with more compassion, peace, and a sense of ease. 

• Is this helpful or unhelpful?

Other ways to ask this question: Is this useful or limiting? Does this serve me or not serve me? Is this thought kind or unkind? Is this thought true or untrue? When I believe this thought, do I suffer emotionally? Since the thought is culturally conditioned, it is unwise to assume that it is true, helpful, and useful. Calmly notice all the ways that it might be untrue, unkind, unhelpful, and cause suffering, 

• When I believe this thought, what behavior patterns arise? 

Alternatively, you can ask: What is the pattern when this thought is activated? Does this thought tend to lead to skillful or unskillful behavior?

Here are some general patterns to be on the lookout for:

• Believing a falsehood -> mental and emotional suffering -> unskillful actions. 

• mindfulness of falsehoods -> liberatory suffering, inquiry, insights, changes in behavior -> growth -> living with more peace, love, and joy

• Mindful contentment -> peace, love, joy, compassion -> skillful actions

• Unpleasant sensations -> Lots of falsehoods arising in the mind -> A need to be mindful to avoid increasing the suffering.

• What would life be like if I never believed this thought again? 

This question is inspired by Byron Katie's wonderful question: "Who would you be without the thought?" Would you feel more spacious, more peaceful, more calm? Imagine the freedom and joy that no longer being burdened by this thought would afford you if you never believed it again.  

• What is a more skillful, helpful, kind, and accurate way of seeing this situation?

This question help us generate a new way of thinking around a situation. For example, let's say you typically think "I don't want to do that" or "I can't do that." (examples of the falsehood of aversion/ judgment) when faced with something difficult that you need to do. A more skillful, helpful, kind, and accurate ways to respond to this thought might be. "That's not true, I can do hard things." or "My higher self wants to do this." or "I love you, keep going."

NEXT STEP: Consider adding this Inquiry practice into your daily routine to help you learn how to deactivate self-judgmental thoughts so they no longer cause you to suffer.

• • • •

Thank you for reading this article. Please join us at our virtual meetings every Tuesday at 6:15 pm (Central Standard Time). Visit our events page for more details on joining us. Thank you.

Wishing you boundless love, peace, wisdom, and joy!